Sunday, 5 February 2012

Custer meets the church custodian







As I mentioned in my first  blog, I publish a church newsletter and in it I have this church mouse character I call Custer...Custer MC Esquire to be formal.  Now Custer has an arch enemy by way of the custodian who happens to be me. I am his arch enemy because I set traps for him and his 'bountiful brood'. What Custer does not know is that the custodian is also his creator'.
 In this segment Custer, for the first time, encounters  his arch enemy and  and 'makes his case'.






Custer the Friendly Kirk Mouse

Forgive me if I seem rude and not doin’ the ‘Hi, How are ya ’ thing. You see, I’m still in shock!  Yes I am!  I just had a run-in with that crusty old ex-custo – not the new one – no, not him – I don’t know about him… yet.  No, I mean the old one with the beard… the one the kids call Old Greybeard the Gruff!

It was just a chance encounter as these types of things usually are.  I was up in the organ loft just sort of ruminating around some old books and papers and stuff when, all of a sudden, Whamo! there’s   El Custo!  So I did what I always do… scurry away under something… this time under the papers. But he lifted ‘em up for some reason and there I was…. totally exposed with no place to run. I tell you I was mighty scared and I was shakin’ all over but nothin’ happened. No it didn’t! Yes, it didn’t. Oh that’s confusing. I mean nothing happened...  he just started talkin’ to me is all… yes he did.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Custer M C Esquire himself!  What are you doing here?”  he said. Now you’d think he would do something violent, but on hindsight what was he going to do standing there on a ladder with nothing in his hands. So I just said, with as much bravado as I could muster, “What’s it to you? Why don’t you mind your own business?”  “Oh I’m so sorry, Custer sir” he said with mocking politeness, “… but it is my business. You see, you are trespassing and it is my duty – well, it was my duty – to evict trespassers. I do not want you at Hebron.”

“Why not? I am a creature of God too! I am not trespassing” I said assertively and went on with . “…the Good Lord gave us this place to live after the ‘great commotion ‘ when you gigantics – you came with huge monstrous machines – and utterly destroyed our home and source of food! And now you persecute us, want to evict us by setting traps… not caring even if you trap babies or grannies! How barbaric! Who says this is your building anyway? Didn’t the Good Lord say in the Good Book that He owns everything … even the cattle on the thousand hills? So who do you think you are saying you ‘own’ this place? And furthermore, what are you gonna’ do when you are no longer here? Come on now, answer me! Someone else is gonna ’own’ it! … that’s what! and after they get old and grey and pass away someone else will ‘own’ it! See! What a whole lot of fakery this business you gigantics have of ‘owning’ something... delusions of grandeur I say! At best you could say you are stewards… stewards of Hebron! Well, okay then… so am I.  I am one of God’s stewards too!” Just then he received a phone call on his cell phone, “…Yes Jo Jo “I heard him say somewhat exasperated, “O K…I’ll stop by and pick up a loaf…” and so while he was distracted I scurried outta’ there!

Well that was my run-in with Greybeard El Custo… I hope it doesn’t happen again soon! In the meantime I feel quite good about my encounter…I told him a thing or two  didn’t I?…and now I am being feted as a hero by Cassie and the kids… by which I mean I get the ‘ranciest’ chunks of cheese! Hoo boy! Well,  gotta run…smell ya later.  




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