Squirrel Wars: the further chronicles of

General Beggerpants

My wife says I have this tendency to crow! By this she does not mean 'bragging'. No... what she is referring to is the same sentiment as  the six year old who, rushing into the house, proclaims: "We caught a frog and then it got away!" except hopefully I come across a little more subtle than that. But I will concede that a bit of that sentiment would not be out of place today. Just yesterday, I have heard myself crow, to someone over the phone. In answer to 'How are you' I said: "I am victorious!".  "You are what?"  Well she heard me right the first time but asks me to repeat it just to be sure she heard me right.... I mean you don't expect to be crowed at over the phone - generally speaking.
Looking out my kitchen window I can see the garage and most of one side of the roof. The roof is covered with an inch of snow.... and lots of squirrel tracks.... they have been checkin' out their point of entry which has been covered over with aluminium. I am glad to report that when I open the garage door there is not a sound to be heard.... and this has been the case for the last 2 days. Am I claiming victory to early? Maybe. But why  all the tracks on the roof? They are checkin' it out ... surveying the situation... maybe regrouping....so maybe I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch.
We, that is my wife and I, left to visit the kids and grandson this morning and chanced to see, as we were driving away,  three squirrels together near a tree in front of our house. "It's the beginnings of a squirrel rally" she remarked. "They are concerned for their kith and kin being turned out of their home.. something you are responsible for. Now they are conspiring to take it back. You know what I think?"  She didn't wait for me to answer whether I wanted to know what she thought....she just continued...."You know that big black squirrel that sits in the bird feeder under the dinning room window? You know, the one with the three or four bald spots on its back and  a tuft of hair missing in his tail?  The one you call 'Lookitthelittlebugger'?

"Forget the garage...we're goin' fer the big house now!"

"Oh you mean General Beggerpants!" I said.  "Is that what you call him?  Well O K. You know what he is saying .....he is saying, 'Forget the garage....we are going for the big house now!'  So you see what you've done... you have stirred up a hornet's nest! she said accusingly.  "That's squirrel's nest" I said just to have something to say.....where upon I was given 'the look'.